Love is Risky

Last weekend my wife and I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.  I thought the movie was a bit bizarre.  But it got me thinking about how love is risky.  The movie is about two people falling in love only to fall out of love a couple years into their relationship.  In the falling out of love phase, Clementine (Kate Winslet) seeks out the services of a company called Lacuna that has the capability of erasing unwanted memories.  She has everything about her relationship with Joel (Jim Carrey) erased.  When Joel finds out he seeks to have everything about Clementine erased.  But in the process he rediscovers his love for Clementine.  There is a conversation between Joel and Clementine at the end of the movie that really caught my attention.  After putting some of the pieces of their past together--realizing their differences and the ways they can hurt one another--they find themselves at a crossroads:

Joel: I can't see anything I don't like about you.

Clementine: But you will, you will think of things and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me.

Joel: Ok.

Joel essentially says, "Ok, loving you is worth going through all of that.  I am willing to risk loving you.  I am willing to risk giving myself to you.  I am willing to risk it all to love you."  This is not a love is blind sort of moment.  It is not that Joel can't see the challenges of love.  What makes this moment powerful is that Joel can see the challenges but chooses love anyways!  

Love is risky.  When we give ourselves in love to other people we are exposed.  The more we give ourselves to other people the more exposed we are--exposed to the possibility of tremendous connection and intimacy, but also exposed to unfathomable hurt and pain.  Erwin McManus captures this notion that love is risky in his book entitled Soul Cravings: "The more you love someone, the more that person can hurt you.  When you give your heart away to someone, you entrust it to that person's care" (Intimacy: Entry # 2).  He also goes on to reference the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.  He states, "Strange as it seems, in the midst of our most painful memories, we find our most treasured ones."  

Love is risky.  But it is worth the risk.  How do I know this?  Because this is the story of the Bible.  The Bible records the story of God--a God that is love willing to risk everything to extend the love that He is to a broken humanity.  The story of the Bible is a story about God willing to risk for love.

   

By the way, this is how many theologians respond to the problem of evil.  When considering the problem of evil, it is helpful to distinguish between a defense and a theodicy.  A defense is less aggressive (and more modest) than a theodicy in that it merely explores what God's reasons might be for creating a world in which evil  exists.  A theodicy goes a step further by attempting to provide an explanation for the existence of evil given all that we affirm about God (cf. God, Freedom, & Evil by Alvin Plantinga).  Suffice it say that in either a defense or a theodicy many scholars suggest that love was what motivated God to create a world with the potential of evil.  Love requires freedom--for love that is not freely chosen is not love.  But the freedom to love is risky because people may not choose to reciprocate that love.  They may choose to reject the love of God and engage in evil.  According to this view, God said it was worth the risk.  Love-relationship with humanity was worth the risk--so much so that God was willing to send His Son to provide the solution to the problem of evil after the potential of evil became a reality.  For a good overview of the position just described check out Satan and the Problem of Evil: Constructing a Trinitarian Warfare Theodicy by Greg Boyd.

Love is risky.  But it is worth the risk.  Love ought not be blind.  True love looks at the risk of love and says, OK, I will risk it.