A Kiss on the Lips

We all need people who are in a position to speak truth into our lives.

We need people who can affirm us and love us--who can cheer us on. We need people who believe in us and encourage us to reach our full potential--who instill within us a sense of confidence and purpose. We need people who recognize our unique abilities, talents, strengths, and gifts--who call on us to make a meaningful contribution. We need people who draw out the best in us and motivate us to become all that God created us to be. But we also need people who will give us a solid kiss on the lips every so often--people who speak truth into our lives even when that truth is difficult to hear.

An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips -- Proverbs 24:26

True friends don't always tell you what you want to hear. Sure, they believe in you, cheer you on, recognize your strengths and abilities, and draw out the best in you. But they also confront you and challenge you--especially when your attitudes and actions don't match up with the person they know you are striving to become. A true friend is willing to pucker up and speak honestly.

This past weekend I had a friend call me Stone Cold Steve Austin. (This is the same friend that told me I had a personality disorder a few months back when I suggested that public speaking may not be my thing). I naturally took offense. I responded by saying that I am compassionate when I need to be. She said, "whatever Steve." I got a voicemail the next day for someone else. The person had the wrong number. It was for a guy named Steve. Receiving a kiss on the lips through a voicemail is an odd sensation.

The next day I had another person tell me that I am intimidating. I wanted to find out if this was true so I asked three people that I work with if they find me intimidating. All three of them told me that my intensity and passion can sometimes be intimidating. Receiving a kiss on the lips from people you work with is also an odd sensation, metaphorically speaking.

When we receive a kiss on the lips we often have the urge to resist it. We don't like what we are hearing and so we tune it out. But when we resist, we close ourselves off from true friendship and personal growth. A posture of resistance deters people from attempting to speak truth to us in the future. And personal growth, as painful as it might be, often begins when we are willing to confront true things about us that we would rather ignore. Now, this doesn't mean that every kiss on the lips is accurate and true. Sometimes the person speaking "truth in love" might only be speaking partial truth. That is to say, their perception of you might be off-base or misinformed. But the only way to find out is to pucker up yourself and reflect on the kiss.

Do you have people in your life that are in a position to kiss you on the lips?

Do you tend to resist personal feedback when it is not positive?

How often do you receive a kiss on the lips?

Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. -- Proverbs 27:5-6