Failure to Give to our Friends

Failing to learn how to give generously in our friendships has a way of complicating matters. Often times we are motivated to invest in a particular friendship because of what that person can do for us. So I am friends with such and such a person because they boost my reputation, build my self-esteem, help me financially, and so on. None of these are pure motivations. And impure motives almost always prove to be relationally toxic. Pursuing a friendship because of how advantageous it is for us is self-seeking and self-centered, self-interested and self-indulgent--none of which provide a solid foundation for relational fulfillment or intimacy.

Jesus articulated the purest form of friendship--one defined by self-sacrifice--when he said, "Greater love has no one that this: to lay down one's life for one's friends" (Jn. 15:13). Jesus then modeled his own teaching by calling us "friends" and then dying for each one of us. Jesus gave to his friends at cost to himself. He calls us to do the same.