The Value of Honesty

For most of us honesty has to do with telling the truth. And to assess whether or not we are honest, we ask questions like: Do you ever tell lies? Do you ever cheat when playing scrabble? Have you ever failed to pay your taxes? If we can answer “no” to these kinds of questions we tend to view ourselves as honest human beings. But living with true honesty goes much deeper than we may realize. In fact most of us, if we are honest, are good at being frauds.

We live in a world that conditions us to project our good qualities onto others and hide the bad ones. We project onto others how we want others to perceive us. So, for example, if I want others to see me as incredibly smart, I will be sure to take advantage of moments that make me appear intelligent. In the same way, I will also work hard to avoid situations that might make me look ignorant or uninformed. We tend to show off the good and cover up the bad. Meanwhile a giant gap forms between who we present ourselves to be and who we actually are in reality.

How honest are we really?

I am convinced that one of the primary reasons people fail to grow spiritually is because they are not willing to be honest with themselves – let alone others. It is not just that we project onto others how we want to be perceived, it is that we often come to believe in those projects ourselves. We work so hard to present ourselves in a certain way – showing off the good and hiding the bad – that we become unable to acknowledge the parts of us that are in hiding. And when we fail to acknowledge those hidden parts, we give those hidden parts increasing power to rule in our lives. Failing to be honest with ourselves gives power to those parts within us that we don’t have the courage to acknowledge. And this is precisely why many do not experience spiritual change or growth. They are simply unwilling to be honest with themselves.

Change requires the willingness to be completely honest and the courage to work through whatever that honesty reveals. Complete honesty and courage. The reason why courage is required is because complete honesty will often uncover things that are easier left buried. But leaving things buried, as we have seen, will not lead to honest living or the change we are after.

The good news about becoming honest with ourselves is that we will never discover anything about ourselves that God does not already know about us. God already knows each and everyone one of us better than we know ourselves. Not only that, but God loves us unconditionally despite having that knowledge. God’s knowledge of us doesn’t change the way he loves us. Knowing that God’s love for us will not change ought to give us the courage to be vulnerable and honest with ourselves. Whatever we discover in our honesty will not change how much we are loved. God’s loving presence, therefore, provides for us a safe context in which we can begin to acknowledge our true selves and move toward honest living.