Trip vs. Vacation

There is a difference between a trip and a vacation.

A vacation can take on many different forms, but is pretty straightforward. 

The goal is often a combination of fun and rest and rejuvenation.  So you vacate your normal life (literally, get out of town) and you do what fills you up.  Of course, what fills people up is often very different.  Some people prefer to be at a home away from home, like a cabin.  Others love to travel and explore new places.  Some people like very active vacations, vacations filled with hiking and biking and rock climbing and kayaking—basically, a never-ending workout.  For others it’s as simple as a beach and a book.  I am more of a balance vacationer myself.  I like a little of both.  I prefer to have time where I sit and do nothing and soak up the fact that I am doing nothing.  But then I also like to have fun.  Not that nothing isn’t fun, but I also like to prioritize memory creating.  It might be exploring the area or a snorkeling tour or any number of things.  But basically, the perfect vacation for me is a ski trip.  You are active all the way down the hill and then you sit and do nothing on the way back up while you take in the scenery.  It’s great. 

That’s vacation. 

Now trips are totally different. 

Trips are different because the goal of a trip isn’t necessarily fun and rejuvenation and rest—although it may include those things, albeit in small doses.  Trips are different than vacations because they are often filled with obligations.  When my wife Josie and I visit Minnesota, for example, it’s a trip—not a vacation.  Don’t get me wrong, we love visiting Minnesota, but it’s a 5 ½ hour drive with two kids in the back seat.  Kier usually yells and cries for about half the time and Tighe repeats the refrain “It’s hard to wait” every other minute.  We usually arrive really late at night and everyone is cranky.  Our kids rarely sleep well on a trip because they are in an unfamiliar place, which means that we usually return home more sleep-deprived then when we first left.  And we usually spend our time on the trip hustling from one activity to another with little down time.  Both my wife and I grew up in Minnesota.  We went to high school and college there and pretty much our entire family – on both sides – lives there too.  We love the people there, but there are also big expectations when we come into town that we will see everyone.  On our most recent trip to Minnesota we stopped by all three of my sisters’ houses, went to a wedding, a child dedication service, hosted a b-day party, had an anniversary get-away, and visited with three different high school friends separately.  It was absolutely crazy!!!

A vacation is snorkeling in Cozumel.

A trip is staying in a hotel room with one full-size bed with your wife and two kids while you attend a family reunion. 

Now I really want to save you from some trouble here, because I’ve gotten into major trouble in the past.  So take it from me.  Never, ever, go into a trip expecting a vacation. 

If you do, I promise, you will be let down.  You will also let down those around you.  Again, I’ve learned the hard way.  We’d schedule a trip to Minnesota and I would be expecting a vacation.  “I am using vacation days,” I would think.  “It’s going to be fun and restful and rejuvenating.”  And then reality would set in about 15 minutes into the car ride.  I’d get cranky and it’d all be downhill from there.  I’d end up acting like a total poop for the entire trip.

So here a few things to keep in mind to avoid being a poop on a trip:

1).  Manage your expectations. 

It’s all about expectation management, really.  A trip isn’t so bad if you aren’t expecting a vacation.  So the night before a trip, I’ve put a ritual in place, a pep talk really.  I sit down and take a few deep breaths.  And then I begin to mentally prepare.  I say to myself, “Mac, this is not a vacation.  This is a trip.  The boys are going to yell the entire car ride.  Try to make it fun.  You are not going to sleep much.  Plan on drinking lots of coffee.  The key word will not be nothing.  It will be go and do.  The reality is you will be doing a lot of visiting and socializing and driving.  Don’t resent it.  Try to make the most of it.” 

2).  Try to plan some fun stuff to offset the activity.

There is going to be a lot of visiting and socializing and such, which is hard if you are a little more introverted like me.  But try to plan something rejuvenating to offset the stuff that is draining.  Maybe it’s going to a coffee shop by yourself or going on an afternoon run.  Maybe it’s a quiet walk or some time to read a book.  This past trip I met up with a friend and went waterskiing.  It was perfect.  I got a morning away from all the activity and did something I really enjoy with a friend that means a lot to me.  It was exactly what I needed to offset the commotion and chaos.  

3).  Sneak away when you need to.

Sometimes to avoid total burn out, you just need to get up and leave the room.  Josie is really helpful to me here because she often gives me permission.  She will look at me and say, “Mac, you need to go for a run.”  And I look at her and think, “How did she know?”  Then I realize I was acting like a poop for the last half hour and she recognized that I just needed some time to do a reset. 

Here is why this is important.

God wants you to be at your best.  And you will be at your best when you are balancing work and rest.  If you are like me, you get a certain amount of vacation per year.  But like me, you don’t get to spend all of your vacation on a beach or in the mountains.  Some of it has to go toward trips—trips where you see and visit with people that are important to you, but are simply not as restful as vacations.  If you are going to return to work and family and marriage, and be in any kind of position to give it your best, you need to figure out how to maximize trips.  I’ve found that differentiating trips from vacations helps set me up for a win.