Bittersweet

I recently finished reading a book entitled Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist.     

Shauna shares vulnerably and transparently from her life experiences.  She is intelligent and witty, deep and reflective, optimistic and real.  She’s anything but plain.  But the thing that surprised me most about her book was how much she talks about food.  I simply was not expecting that.  Pretty much every story she shares includes a description of what she ate at that time of the story.  On more than one occasion I found myself salivating, like when you see a food commercial and you’re a bit famished.  A few times I even created a grocery list right after finishing a chapter!  Bottom line, I would absolutely NOT recommend this book if you are on a diet or trying to lose weight.  I would strongly recommend this book, however, if you’ve experienced pain in life—particularly if that pain still feels palpable.  Shauna has experienced pain, deep pain, but remains hopeful.    

The central theme of this book is one that I’ve experienced to be true: Life is bittersweet.  Life isn’t entirely sweet.  And it’s not entirely bitter either.  Some seasons may seem exceptionally sweet.  But life won’t stay that way forever.  At some point, you can be sure, a challenge or difficulty will come along and kick you right in the shins – or a foot higher.  And the opposite is also true.  Some seasons may seem desperately bitter.  But the good news is that life won’t stay that way forever.  Springtime always comes after winter.  More often than not, though, the two go together.  They hold hands like newlyweds walking down the beach on their honeymoon.  Life is often bitter and sweet at the same time.

I’ve shared just one example of this in a previous post.  My senior year of high school was the best and worst year of my life.  Other seasons of life have been similar. 

Just 10 days after my oldest son was born, my dad had a grand mal seizure, which led to the discovery of a brain tumor.  It felt like whiplash.  One moment I was experiencing this unbelievable celebration of new life, the next moment I am facing the scary possibility of death.  Bittersweet. 

A little over a year ago I received a promotion on our church staff.   It was an exciting time of opportunity and added responsibility.  Simultaneously, however, I was hanging on by a thread at home as our newborn son refused to eat.  The same month I received a promotion, my son was diagnosed with Failure to Thrive.  Thriving in one area of life, failing to thrive in another.  Bittersweet. 

So there are seasons that are bitter and sweet. 

But the truth is that most days are bitter and sweet as well. 

Most of my days are a mix of frustration and gratitude, joy and pain, success and failure, highs and lows.  One minute you are enjoying a cold beverage on a hot, sunny day.  The next moment you get stung by a bee. 

So how do we deal with this?  Here are a few ways you can embrace the bittersweet quality of life:

1).  Enjoy the sweet moments. 

See, we can ruin the sweet moments by anticipating the bitter moments.  So you share a great moment with your toddler, but then you immediately sour it by thinking about how he or she will be in school next year.  Sometimes we think that we prepare our hearts for the bitter parts of life by limiting how much we enjoy the sweet parts.  This tendency is what one of my favorite authors, Brene Brown, calls “foreboding joy” – and it doesn’t work.  So don’t do it.  Simply enjoy the enjoyable. 

2).  Expect some bitter moments.

Another one of my favorite authors, M. Scott Peck, starts one of his books with the statement, “Life is difficult.”  And it’s true.  Life is difficult.  It’s a constant struggle.  It’s painful and complex.  So expect it to be that way.  Don’t sour joyful moments by anticipating bad ones.  But at the same time, don’t be ignorant to the challenges of life.  I’ve found that expecting challenges in life helps me better face them with square shoulders.      

3).  Err on the side of gratitude. 
Even in the most painful seasons of life, there are things with which we can be grateful.  The Bible says that every good and perfect gift comes from the hand of God (James 1:17).  We live in a fragile and messy world, for sure.  But God is constantly allowing his goodness to shine through the cracks of our broken world into our lives.  Over the past six months I’ve made it a habit to, at the end of each day, write down a few good things that happened that day.  I’ve never once failed to come up with something.  God is good.  God is always sweet no matter how bitter life gets.