Monday, March 3, 2014

Grace-Filled Parenting


We live in a culture where there are expectations of perfection that are being imposed on us as parents.  These expectations come in a wide variety of forms. And what I want suggest to you is that if we buy into these expectations uncritically, the result is that we end up feeling liking perpetual parental failures.

This is what happens when you host a play-date with some friends... 
Everything starts out great.  Lunchtime rolls around and you think, “No big deal.  I’ll make lunch for everyone.”  You go to your fridge, open it up, and all of a sudden you’re hit by a wave of panic, a rush of anxiety, as you realize you don’t have any organic fruits or vegetables on hand, and all of your friends…well, that’s all they feed their kids.  So you feel a tinge of inferiority and inadequacy, because here your friends are, only giving their kids the best of the best and here you are, poisoning your kid one apple slice at a time! 

We live in a culture of parental perfection and I am convinced that it’s making the task of parenting much heavier than it needs to be.  It’s putting a weight on us that we simply can’t carry.  Over the past year, I’ve been waking up to this reality more and more.  It all started when I noticed a pattern in my life.  The pattern was two fold: (1) I’d fail to meet an expectation; and then (2) I’d feel this thing called shame.  This pattern happened over and over again until finally I woke up thinking that I wasn’t a very good parent at all.  I felt like a failure, perpetually guilty and never measuring up.  Then, one day, everything changed.  I began to examine why I felt like such a bad parent.  What I discovered was so freeing.  As I explored my feelings of shame and traced them back to their source, I realized they were rooted in unrealistic expectations, expectations that were completely unattainable. 

Here are a few examples…

Enjoy every moment
This was by far the most common piece of advice I received before I became a parent.  And so I went into parenting with the expectation that I should savor every second with my kids.  They are going to grow up in the blink of an eye, I was told.  The problem was that almost immediately, I started to experience moments that weren’t enjoyable at all.  The very first night home from the hospital with our oldest son, Josie finished a feeding at 3 a.m. and asked me to change a diaper.  So I got up, went over to the changing table and got started.  Everything was going great until the moment that he shot mustard-colored diarrhea out of his butt with tremendous velocity.  It got all over him, the bed, the carpet, and me.  So here I am.  It’s 3 a.m.  I really just want to be sleeping.  But what am I doing?  I’m doing laundry, vacuuming the floor, and taking a shower.  Not cool.  Not cool at all.  And I have dozens of other stories just like it.  My point is that it is an unreasonable expectation to enjoy every moment.  And the only people who give out this advice, it seems to me, are middle-aged women well past the stage of raising toddlers with selective memory disorders.  No one with young children has ever told me with any degree of seriousness to savor every second.  Some moments just suck.  Period. 

Be Consistent
I’ve read a lot of books on parenting, and this little piece of advice continually surfaces.  Be consistent in your discipline.  Be consistent in your demeanor.  Just create a consistent environment for your kids because that will give them a sense of security and safety, the kind that will allow them to truly thrive.  So what did I do?  I went into parenting with the expectation that I should be perfectly consistent.  If I could do that, I thought, my kids will turn out great.  The problem was that very quickly I realized I wasn’t consistent at all.  I’d have good days and bad days as a parent.  And for the longest time, I just beat myself up for the moments when I wasn’t at my best.  Then one day I realized it’s not just me.  Like, if every single home had a hidden nanny camera in it, I am convinced no one would want anyone else to see the footage!  See, we have good moments and bad moments as parents.  That’s sort of what it means to be human.  When I have a brilliant moment as a parent, it’s worth celebrating.  But I can’t possibly expect to be brilliant all the time.  A better expectation is that I am going to have to ask for forgiveness, a lot. 

Good parents are in control of their kids
Confession.  I used to carry around this belief.  When I’d see a kid out in public totally losing it, I’d mentally blame it on bad parenting.  Then I had kids, and everything changed.  My kids, like all kids, throw tantrums.  And they often save their best ones for when we are out in public.  Nothing is more embarrassing.  The game changer for me with this one was when I received compassion rather than judgment.  One of my kids was throwing a tantrum and this individual, rather than giving me the stink eye, looked at me with compassion and let me know that, “This is normal and that you are still a good dad.”  Kids have this thing called a free will.  Sometimes I wished they didn’t.  But they do.  And sometimes they choose to express it in some really unfortunate ways. 

And so here is what it comes down to…

You and me, we are never going to be perfect parents.  And the good news is that God doesn’t expect us to be.  Look, if we could be perfect, what would be the point of heaven?  So long as we are on this side of heaven, we are going to struggle.  We are going to make mistakes.  We are going to blow it.  But we can still strive to move in the right direction.  And this is where grace comes into play.

Mercy is not getting what we deserve.  We deserve punishment and separation from God.  But God is merciful.  He doesn’t give us what we deserve.  Grace includes mercy, but also goes beyond it.  Grace is getting what we don’t deserve, in addition to not getting what we do deserve.  A professor I had in college summarized it this way: Grace = Mercy + Power.  Grace is mercy for when we fall short, and then power to live differently. 

I am learning to be a grace-filled parent. 
Rather than allowing my shortcomings to produce shame within me, I am starting to see them as opportunities to experience God’s grace.  The very moments when I blow it, the very moments when I am at my worst, the very moments when I mess up, these are invitations and opportunities to experience grace—to turn to God, receive forgiveness and mercy for my faults and failures, and receive power to live differently and move in the right direction. 

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. 
  -- 2 Cor. 12:9

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